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If you’ve read any of my blogs, I hope that one of the themes that shines brightest is my importance of family and relationships. Today, I want to discuss the difficult topic of a man’s responsibility to protect. And specifically, to protect his significant other or spouse. This is for both men and women so please both read on.
If you are in a relationship, a conversation about a hypothetical situation like this topic should come up at some point. What happens, if together, you are caught in the traumatic experience of being in danger? For the man, what happens if you are in the unenvious position of protecting the one you love? At first glance, the answer to this question might be obvious, at least, I hope it is. But maybe even the more important thing to discuss is the role of the one you love, the one you are trying to protect…that woman in your life. I want to break this down because both roles, for the man and the woman, are so important. To me, the roles are particular and NEED to be quite clear!
I am specifically going to address any situation that presents itself where another man, who has evil intentions, puts you and your significant other in danger (breaking into your home, attempting to kidnap or abduct, or a robbery where you are uncertain of the man’s full intentions). If you are the man, your obvious choice needs to be this: It’s time to put your life on the line with the sole purpose of getting your loved one to safety. If confronted with this kind of evil, your mindset must be that either one of two things will happen: either you die or they will, but one will perish today. And you will do your best to make sure it’s not you. But if it needs to be you, then so be it if this is the best chance of getting your loved one to safety. You have to trust in a circumstance like this that you will have some things going for you. First and foremost- there is a God who does exist. If you know Him personally you will call upon Him. From there, you have to believe that you will be more intelligent than the perpetrator looking to harm. Be ready to use that intelligence to the best of your ability. Then remember this: you will be fighting for something way more important than they are. The adrenaline and determination to win and protect will give you an advantage. Finally, the responsibility bestowed on you will allow you to be ok regardless of the outcome if you can get your loved one out of harm’s way. Whether you win or lose the fight is not the result that matters.
For the woman, let me be quite clear on your role as you have one role and one role only. GET TO SAFETY AS FAST AS YOU CAN! Please understand that for your man, this should be the only goal. It is your responsibility to understand that if you have a man that has the mentality that I spelled out in the above paragraph then you need to respect him enough to let him either win the fight or die the hero! That’s it! If you do not get to safety and he dies, then he dies in vain.
Now, I understand that in today’s world, my fear is these thoughts might be unpopular. I’m hopeful that I am wrong. But if my fear is true, then maybe a blog like this is needed. My prayer is a reader who agrees with this blog becomes inspired to continue to carry this mindset forward…and if you disagree, specifically, if you’re a man, then I hope you’ll reevaluate and reconsider the legacy you’ll leave behind. And if you don’t think building a legacy is important, make no mistake, you’re building one anyway. You can’t get away from who you are, who you decide to become, and what people will remember about you… and sadly, if they remember you at all. The real question is what kind of legacy will you have?
If you’re a woman who disagrees with this blog then I would say this to you (and please listen to what I am saying). Respectfully, you devalue your worth! And more specifically, you devalue your worth to the man willing to die for you. For me… when protecting you, win or lose the fight, if you get to safety, I win. If I lose the fight, but God blesses me with staying alive all while you get to safety then I get to reap the benefits of your adoration and love for me reaching the newest heights ever thought possible. Our relationship, here in the living, will shoot to a level that few will ever get to see or experience. That’s the beauty of coming out on the other side of adversity brings to a relationship. But, if I lose the fight by losing my life while you get to safety then I die the hero in your eyes, forever cementing my legacy in your life. Let me die the hero! It doesn’t get much better than that!
The measure of a man is defined by the extent he is willing to go to protect those he is responsible for. The ones God has entrusted to him. Never does this mean to be quick to fight anyone. Instead, it is actually the opposite. The first goal is to be intelligent enough to get the ones you love out of harm’s way without confrontation, even at the expense of your pride. But if harm comes that cannot be avoided then the extent you MUST be willing to go to get them to safety is your LIFE!
To end, let me say this. Men, if you are married, look at your wife and ask yourself are you ready to die for her, if needed? If that answer is, no, then get off your tail and make your marriage better! Work your butt off to get to a place where you would die for her if duty called you to do so. And, if you’re a man in a relationship, not married yet, and you can’t look at the woman you’re with saying, yes, I would die for her, then you might not be in the right relationship.
Women, if you look at your husband and say, I don’t think he would die for me, then get off your tail and make your marriage better! Work your butt off to get to a place where that man would die for you if duty called him to do so. And, if you’re a woman in a relationship, not yet married, and you can’t look at the man in your life saying, yes, I believe he would die for me, then you might not be in the right relationship.
And finally…to the woman in my life, if I am presented with the horrific circumstances of having to protect you from danger, please understand YOUR RESPONSIBILITY is to get to SAFETY. And if I have to die, then:
LET ME DIE A HERO!
Have Character!
J. Noah Russell
