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One of the things I like to do whenever I am walking into a building or when I am walking up to get in line at a grocery store is to try and let people go ahead of me. To me it is just one of those very minor “Have Character” moments to let others go before me…a very easy moment of trying to be unselfish.
A while back I started something that I have adopted ever since as a routine when going into a building. When I see someone getting to the door about the same time as me or if they are shortly behind me about to follow me in, I open the door for them and step aside to let them in. Many times, they go in and say, “Thank you”, and I follow behind.
However, sometimes, a friendly challenge starts to form at the door. The person behind me wants to let me go in first as I am urging them to go in ahead of me. They too are trying to have their “Have Character” moment. Of course, I am not having anything of it. (after all, this is my moment! haha!) I would insist they go in ahead of me. Sometimes, it goes from a friendly challenge to a friendly stand-off. So, I needed to start upping my game. What could I say or do to make sure my Have Character moment stays intact? (I know this sounds crazy, maybe even a little comical, which I intend it to be, but please stay with me…there is a challenge for everyone reading this by the time I am done and I hope I can pass on something as cool to you as it has been for me).
One day I decided I knew how I was going to put on my “A” game and it has become a game changer for me. So back to the opening door saga, we go: I am walking in with a total stranger getting to the door about the same time as me. Quickly, I grab the door, open it, and step aside to let them enter. The person looks at me and says, “No, you go ahead”. I don’t move but instead flash the friendliest smile I can shake my head, and say, “Oh no, you are way more important than me!” I caught the person off-guard. They smiled, thanked me, and walked in, allowing me to hold the door open for them. After all, what could they say to that? I have adopted that ever since and the responses can be utterly priceless! I have had some say to me with a chuckle, “Oh I don’t know about that!” as they let me win and walk in, letting me hold the door. I have had the elderly look at me with an admiration of thankfulness. I have had some tell me that my parents raised me right. (I like that one the best as it’s a tribute to my incredible parents.) I have some just at a loss for words as they have never heard anyone tell them that before. With each unique response comes a reward. The reward is quite simple…letting people know that they are important, they are significant, and they do matter.
One other thing I will do when getting in line at the same time as someone else, I stop, and motion to them to go in front of me. If they stop as well and try to motion for me to go first, I will say to them, “Oh no, there is NO WAY I am going in front of you!”. That also tends to get a nice response. I am a man and it’s particularly nice to do this for a woman or an elderly woman because I want them to know that chivalry is still not dead in our world today.
I am guessing by now you might have an idea of what the YOU First Challenge is. I am respectfully challenging anyone reading this blog to make it a point to come up with their own “YOU” First idea. In any situation that you come across where there is a line to get in, a door to go into, or any other situation where you and a stranger come face to face where you either go first or they go first, I challenge you to let them go first. Come up with a nice thing to say to them that lets them know that, not only are you being nice, but they are important. If you can’t think of one, use mine! I would be honored if you did. When you get to the door and the friendly challenge and stand-off are now on, tell them, “Oh no, you are way more important than me!” I trust that you will enjoy the results and I trust they will too! You might just be amazed at the responses you get along the way!
Accept the “YOU” First Challenge and Have Character!
J. Noah Russell
HAVE CHARACTER™
