Either You Own Your Circumstances or They Own You…The Deciding Factor?

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One of the hardest things to overcome is the circumstances of life. Life is cruel. Some are hit with harder circumstances than others, but the bottom line is each person’s individual circumstances are all they know. So, what is easy for some might be difficult for others. Many times, we have a hard time relating to someone else’s circumstances when they are not our own. Yet, we tend to measure them up to our own in an attempt to either make our life look better or worse. Going further still, what gets lost in the middle of it all is compassion for one another; a lack of empathy…maybe that is the real tragedy.

Unfortunately, we live in a very narcissistic world where it’s all about “me”. Sadly, this is heartbreaking because with that comes a lack of empathy for anyone around us. This very narcissism opens the door to the claim of being the victim. In my mind, I want others to have sympathy for me and my life circumstance. With that narcissism also comes a want for attention, positive or negative, as long as I am getting the attention I crave. But where is the narcissism that stands up to life’s circumstances and says to it, “You won’t get the best of me!” Unfortunately, you won’t find it because narcissism is destructive not productive. The productive voice would rise up above the circumstance… the destructive voice (narcissistic voice) would claim, “whoa is me.”

So, what should we do with the sobering effects on our life called “circumstances”?

In my life, I have been dealt with some pretty harsh blows. I don’t want to act like my circumstances are worse or better than anyone else’s, but they are circumstances all the same that have caused struggles in my life. Having gone through life’s struggles, I have reflected on them. In doing so, I have developed a mentality that is filled with liberation, freedom, and triumph and that is this:

“Either you own your circumstances or they own you and the only one that decides this is… YOU!”

And here is how I got there:

I needed the God who created me. Without Him, I am simply not capable of overcoming much at all, and surely not my own narcissism…let alone my circumstances.
I needed to own up to the bad decisions and mistakes I have made that has helped create some of the circumstances I have had to face. I had to try and hold myself accountable.
I needed to understand that not everything is in my control, but how I react to them is.
I needed the God who created me. (This is not mistyped…I meant to write it twice!)

My hope is that you caught those bullet points correctly in the way I intended them. As you can see, handling, battling, and triumphing over life’s obstacles starts and ends with the God I serve. Life circumstances are tough and I am too feeble to get through this life on my own.

Now please don’t get me wrong. I don’t need a “crutch” to get through life. I am a confident, strong willed man, with an ego all the same…but I am not afraid to say I need the God who created me. How strong do you have to be to be vulnerable and accountable? Dare I say, pretty strong! I am strong enough and man enough to know I need help.

Continuing on…the decision to own your circumstances is one that will need to be made over and over and over again in your life. Life’s circumstances won’t happen just once. They will happen consistently throughout your life and how you deal with them will be the most important each time. You see, it’s not if you get hit with a struggle, it will always be when. It will never be what happens to us, but instead, how we react to it that will make all the difference in the world. I am confident that each of us have the power to overcome, no matter what our circumstances are.

In concluding, I want to get to the goal of this post. I want to reach two groups of people here. One, I want to reach the young people out there and, two, anyone currently in the storm of a life struggle.

To the young people, I encourage you to find the God who made you if you don’t know Him. I believe there is help on this website with that, but many other better resources out there. I believe if you seek the God who created all things you will find Him. With God carrying you, adopt a mindset of not letting any circumstance own you! Circumstances will come. Face them with a mindset to overcome! And you can and will overcome them! From here on out, YOU will own them, they will NOT own you!

To the person in the midst of struggle…I promise you the struggle, the hurt, and the setback is temporary! Battle through it…and when it becomes hard, battle some more! There is joy in the struggle and there is triumph on the other side. Again, God will always be the key to overcoming life’s obstacles…I can personally testify to this and there are countless others who can as well.

To anyone reading this understand this…whether it be your marriage, your relationship with your parents or children, your job or career, your physical health, your financial stability, getting bullied, or any other life circumstance thrown at you…getting to the top of the mountain (triumph) cannot be sweet without getting through the struggles of the valley (your circumstances)!!!! And when you do this, you will be a better person…a stronger person…an empathetic person for others struggling…and just maybe a guide to help someone else up the mountain!

You see, it took years of life experience and dealing with some of the harsh realities of life to get this mindset in me. I am not a victim! I am an overcomer! I will be an overcomer over and over and over again until my life here is through. Lord willing, I pass that mindset on to my children and those around me. If I am truly blessed, maybe I can pass that on to someone I don’t even know…I hope that someone might be you.

On a final side note…please be empathetic to all around you. This life is tough. We are all in the same boat and we all need each other to thrive the best we can.

Have Character!

J. Noah Russell

HAVE CHARACTER™