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In this life, we are often fooled into believing that accomplishments matter when they are tied up in things like our careers, financial success, personal goals, or any other interest we have outside of relationships. However, the greatest thing you will ever accomplish in this life is when you have an impact on another person. But even going beyond that, it is even more important to understand exactly who you have the opportunity to have the greatest impact on. And those people are your family. I have a mother who mastered this her whole life. Today, I want to tell you about my mom and the impact she has had on me. I have been blogging for quite some time now and this blog is long overdue.
I hope that in telling you about my mom, you may be able to look at your mom and grow an appreciation for her. And if you are a mother or a mother-to-be maybe reading this will help you understand just how important your role is as a mother. It’s a role that might go unnoticed. It’s a role that might look like it’s a thankless job, but it is the most important job you will ever have.
My mother is a mighty woman. She was a loving, faithful wife to my father until he passed away in 2009. You might think that was great for their marriage, and it was, but the example of her love for him provided the strongest stability that I could ever have as a child. If you are a married mother, please understand how important your love for your spouse is to your kids. It not only provides significant stability to their upbringing, but it shows them an example of what it is like to love your spouse without fail. Make no mistake, my parents had their problems, but there was never a concern that they couldn’t love each other through them.
My mother is a hardworking woman who did not let her job hinder her ability to still be a mom to my brother and me. She loved like no other and yet always had the strength to dish out discipline when needed. She was always there to help with school projects, always there to watch us play sports, and always there to make sure we did our homework. She mastered when it was time to be a loving mom and when it was time to be a wall that couldn’t be pushed over. Looking back, she did the right role every time and if she didn’t, then she was so good at messing up that there was no way to notice it. I am convinced that if you look up the word “mom” in the dictionary it will have my mom’s name there as the definition. If for some reason it doesn’t, then that dictionary has a typo in it and it’s wrong. Throw it away and go buy another one.
I have two stories that stick out about being disciplined by my mom. When I was young, I once tried to put a Bible in the back of my pants to cushion the blow of a spanking I was about to get from her. Oh boy, that did not go very well for me. I am sure looking back that God probably said, “Oh no, don’t look to me to bail you out. I gave you your mother to hand out the discipline you have coming! Read the book you just put in your pants son. It backs up what your mom is about to dish out. Don’t worry, you’ll learn from this.” Yeah, the Bible had to be removed and the spanking was carried out.
The second one was when I was in elementary school. This was probably 1st or 2nd grade I would imagine. We had a homework notepad that we had to take home every night to have our parents sign to show our teacher the next morning that our parents verified our homework was completed. The teacher would go around the room and you’d have to open up your homework pad to show your parent’s signature. One particular morning I realized I forgot to have my parents sign my notebook. I was mortified as my teacher started her way around the room. My father had a very unique signature so there was no way I was forging his, but I thought I could get my mom’s done pretty well. So, I forged my mom’s signature. My teacher came by my desk, saw the signature, and went on to the next desk. Inside, I was beaming with a sense of accomplishment at dodging a bullet with my teacher. That very same night I had to go back to my parents to have one of them sign my notepad for that day’s homework. Well, what a genius I was back then! I gave it no thought to make sure not to take the notepad to my mom, but instead have Dad sign it. Nope, I took it to mom. So, my mother, being the smart woman that she was said to me, “Hey I didn’t sign this last night did I?” And she proceeded to flip the page back one page to the assignments that were assigned the night before. “Yes, you did,” I replied thinking, well if it worked on the teacher, surely it would work on mom too. After all, I was impressed with my beautifully created replica of her signature. If she truly couldn’t remember if she did or not, then it would pass no problem. So, there on the paper was my masterpiece of a forged signature of my mother’s name. Needless to say, my mom didn’t have a bad memory and I got in trouble not only for the forged signature but the lie I told when I told her she did sign it. You would think I would have at least been smart enough to take this night’s assignments to my dad. Surely, he would not have thought anything of it, and no way would he have worried about the signature from the night before. Wisdom gets lost on the young as I proved that night.
I never got a spanking from her that I didn’t deserve.
My mom is tough. I am about to tell you a story that does not endorse violence, but I want to be honest, so I won’t sugar-code it. When we were younger we were vacationing with friends of my parents in West Virginia. We were staying at a hotel and we had a room up about 6 floors overlooking the outdoor pool. My mom had taken my older brother down to the pool. I stayed with my dad in our hotel room. My dad was in the shower so I was waiting for him to get done and then we were going to head down to the pool to meet with them. It was divide and conquer. Mom took my brother, I stayed with Dad. So, while I am waiting for my dad to get out of the shower, I go to our room balcony that overlooks the pool. I saw my mom and brother go into the pool area and it was pretty busy down there. On the one side of the pool was a diving board to jump into the deep end. All the kids were lining up, jumping off the diving board, swimming to the other shallow end, getting out of the pool, and then running back to the diving board to get back in line. There was a lifeguard on duty and he was constantly asking the kids to slow down to stop them from running. My brother took his place amongst the kids doing the same thing they were doing. When the lifeguard got on my brother a few times, my mom had enough. Now, let me give you this tale of the tape. The lifeguard was north of 6 foot tall, decently built, and probably in his early 20s. My mom I don’t think has hit 5 foot tall in her life and at this time I would venture to guess she was in her 30s. I know we were young, but I don’t remember how young. I’m watching and I see my mom walking over to the lifeguard and it is obvious she is not happy. Words are being exchanged which turns into an argument pretty quickly. The lifeguard is looking down at my mom. The next thing I know, out of nowhere, my mom slaps this guy right into the pool. I started screaming for my dad telling him mom just smacked the lifeguard and he fell into the water. Again, sticking to honesty here, my dad must have dropped every curse word you could think of as he was jumping out of the shower naked as naked can be. My father, I am convinced could protect my family from a grizzly bear with his bare hands, but here he is scrambling for his clothes, soaking wet, in front of his youngest son, dropping curse words like there is no tomorrow, and trying to get out of our room and down to the pool as fast as he could. I watched as the hotel management came to my mom and escorted her to their office. By the time the ordeal was over with we were kicked out of the hotel and heading back home. I never got to swim in that pool.
The reason I tell that story is this: Yes, my mom, in that moment was wrong. I am sure she would even admit this, but here is the message that was sent to us, her kids. To her, we were everything. As misguided as her actions might have been, she wasn’t going to let anyone mess with her son. She had no backup folks. Dad was in the shower and 6 floors up. But the stronger message I received looking back was that not only did Dad have our back, but so did Mom. And it was genuine. Again, I’ll disclaimer it with this: what my mom did was wrong. But what came out of her wrongdoing was still a strong message to her kids that I will fight for you. The message hit its target because here I am typing about it decades later.
My mom has sacrificed much in her life. She has taken care of her family her whole life. Her dad, my grandfather, lived with us until he passed away when I was 13. My mom went to my dad asking him if her father could live with us when her father and mother divorced. My mom was close to her father. My dad wasn’t so sure at first but agreed. My dad and my grandfather became the best of friends. They took care of my grandfather as this was important to my mom.
Throughout my growing up years, my mother’s mom and brother have also lived with us. And now, she is taking care of my adult cousin, her sister’s daughter, who is mentally handicapped. She has been taking care of her ever since her sister passed away well over 10 years ago. And here is what is incredible about all of this. Except for my mom’s dad, all her other family members that she took care of did not treat her very well. She wasn’t the closest to her mom, her brother, or even her sister to take on her sister’s daughter, but never once did my mom turn her back on them. To this day me and my brother shake our heads at how much my mother always took care of them, even when they didn’t deserve that from her. I am telling you this woman is truly off the charts!
When I decided to raise my stepdaughters as my own and my son was born my mom stepped in to be our daycare. We both worked full-time jobs. It was important to me and important to my mom that my kids got the same upbringing with her watching them as I had gotten with her as my mom. She stopped working and decided to take care of my kids during the day. I did not want to take advantage of my mom so I wanted to pay her something. She wanted nothing in return. I demanded it. My mom said, “Fine, pay me.” Then she asked, “Didn’t you open up investment accounts for the kids?” to which I confirmed I did. “Good, she says, get me their account info so I can auto-deposit whatever you pay me splitting it up between the 3 kids. You can’t tell me what to do with my money.” And that is what she did. Each of my kids, when they became adults got mutual funds that were funded by my mom’s daycare pay. I wasn’t going to win the fight to pay her money she could use for herself…it’s just not how my mom is built.
My mom is compassionate. I remember playing football as a young kid, early in my childhood. We had a bad game and we had a pretty tough coach. (well at least tough from a young child’s perspective). The coach told us to come to practice on Monday ready to work our tails off. He seemed serious and mad. I was nervous the rest of the weekend to the point of being sick to my stomach. Come Sunday night I couldn’t take it anymore so I went to my mom and asked her if worry could cause someone to get sick. She asked me what was wrong and she immediately knew something was up with me. I told her what I was scared about leading up to Monday and she put things in perspective for me and comforted me like only she could. I just remember going to bed no longer worried about Monday’s practice and it wasn’t that bad, just as Mom explained to me. Had I gone to Dad, he probably would have gotten me even more scared about Monday and I probably would have spent the night clinging to the toilet bowl face down.
When my father passed away in 2009 from cancer, my mother was right there with him. Of course, you think this is what a wife should do and that would be correct, but what I witnessed was more of the loving, faithful woman to her husband that we had witnessed throughout their marriage. Once again, by her loving example, the impact that it had on me as a child was having the same incredible impact on me now being a man. Maybe even more so now that I was old enough to put it in its proper perspective. I was then and still now in awe of her example.
When I went through the tragedy of divorce, my mother was there for me. It was a tough time in my life, but my mom was there for me for hours and hours on end, night after night, as I got through it. Many nights she just listened to me speak, not interrupting, and only offered a comforting voice at the right time to do so. There were times I called her in the middle of the night. She always answered. She was always in prayer for me, standing in the gap for her youngest son. Mom, God answered in my time of need. His answer for me at that time was you! I will never forget what you did for me. You built me up and you made me strong.
To you Mom, I want to tell you that I love you. I want the world to know about you. I want the world to know the impact you have always had and still do have now on my brother and me. I want you to know that your life has been so important to me that I can never repay you for who you are in my life. I am a strong man, able to handle all life has to throw at me. The bar you set for being a mom is so high that anyone who wants to achieve greatness as a mother should have been allowed to shadow the life you’ve led.
I also want to thank you for the way you loved and still love Dad. Your commitment and love for him has never been lost on me. That love went so far beyond just the relationship you two had. It had a tremendous impact on your son. I am sure my brother would attest to the same.
Mom, Because of you I know how to love!
Because of you, I know how to have compassion and empathy!
Because of you, I know how to be smart and think for myself!
Because of you, I know how to be resilient and handle adversity!
Because of you, I have a no-quit attitude and will not fail!
Because of you, my kids have a strong father!
Because of you, I am someone who can be counted on!
Because of you, I can stand my ground!
Because of you, I can protect if called upon to do so!
Because of you, I am not afraid to sacrifice!
Because of you, I have something to offer!
Because of you, I am strong!
and because of you, I am a Christian who bows to Jesus Christ and serves the Creator of All Things! My eternity is now secured!
Thank you, mom. And again, I truly love you very much!
To all the mothers out there: Earlier in this blog I said being a mom might be a thankless job and many times it is. But someday you might be able to look at your kids and get the greatest thank you you could ever get. That is when you can see who they have become and know it’s because of YOU! Every kid needs a mom to be just as important to them as my mom was and is to me. You can be that mom. And for every mom that accomplishes the most important role given to them, the rewards will pass down from generation to generation. What a legacy you will have and leave behind…
And deserve!
Have Character!
J. Noah Russell
One response to “The Strength of A Mother’s Love”
This means so much to me and I pray that every mom who reads this gets the impack on them as it has for me. Always remember you cant do things without God Jesus helping you a long life’s journey So pray every day that he will be there right by your side Thats what I do Love this post.
This means so much to me and I pray that every mom who reads this gets the impack on them as it has for me. Always remember you cant do things without God Jesus helping you a long life’s journey So pray every day that he will be there right by your side Thats what I do Love this post.