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Today, September 16th, 2023 my ex-mother-in-law has passed away. The word “mom” is not a word freely given…it’s earned. My own mom is very dear to me as well, but today I want to talk about the special woman my ex-mother-in-law was. I called her mom!
This blog is a tribute to her and the influence she had in my life.
She was a woman who showed love in many ways…some small, yet so powerful. I remember family get-togethers during the holidays at her home. Her face lit up with smiles and laughter when the room was filled with her kids and grandkids. It was obvious, she was incredibly happy. It was written all over her face. When we left for the night, the goodbyes were very long because she didn’t want to see us go. I now know why those long goodbyes were so important.
At Christmas time, she gave specific individual ornaments to each of us to show just a small glimpse of how important individually we were to her. The love she gave came freely and came so easily for her. It is something I will never forget.
She was also a strong woman. She had strong opinions and convictions and was not someone who easily backed down…but inside she had a heart of gold. I will never forget her always wanting to attend our kid’s sports activities. She would watch my daughter ice skate, even traveling to Spain to watch my daughter’s most important competition. You could tell just how genuinely she loved watching my daughter skate and was easily one of, if not, my daughter’s biggest fan. And the impact that had on my daughter was incredibly obvious and special. Regularly she would come watch my son play hockey calling him funny nicknames while rooting for him in the stands. All these things might seem small and maybe something most grandparents would do, but she was never just there, she was engaged! Inside, this was never lost on me how special it was, and certainly to my kids.
She had a special relationship with my daughters. My daughters spent time with their grandma and my oldest would spend time at their home as her job affords her time to work remotely. I got them gifts for live theater shows so that they could take their grandma for a special night out. I know my daughters cherished those times! I am grateful for the impact she had and will continue to have on them. Thank you, mom!
She was a woman devoted to her husband even in their later years when things got physically tough for them. Yes, I am sure it came with their bickering moments and complaints, but what’s important to realize is that is the product of years of being together…and although to some on the outside looking in, you might think they are fighting, but in reality, it’s what the special years of being together afforded them!
I will leave you with two quick Have Character moments that I will be forever thankful to Mom for.
The first was when my marriage with her daughter fell apart. Mom offered me nothing but love…and she did it in a very special way. I will never forget how grateful she was for the way I raised her grandchildren. She would always text me on Father’s Day to let me know how great of a father I was. Those texts always rang special to me. After my divorce, I only got to see her a handful of times, but I remember what she said to me in one of those times. She said to me that if I was ever in the area, I was free to visit her and my ex-father-in-law if I wanted, that I just needed to reach out to let them know I was coming. That stuck with me and is something that touched me. Even then, amid my tragedy, she showed me love.
The second was when her life was winding down. I spoke with my oldest daughter. My oldest daughter told me about the conversation she had with her grandmother when they discovered that what they found was most likely cancer…and most likely would take her life. She told my daughter that she did not want any treatment. She knew where she was going and that she was ready to go home. You see, she was saved by God’s grace and she knew it! So here she was, a woman staring her death in the face, knowing in her heart that her life was over, and yet she had the peace to say, “I’m good, I know where I am going, and I am ready to go home!” Well, Mom, your testimony in that moment will stick with me forever! It strengthened my faith in an instant and I am sure it strengthened my daughter’s. How can she be at such peace in a time like this? Only if the Creator of the universe is real, personal, and she knew Him! That’s how.
Mom, thank you for a life that was so worth it and for what you meant to me!… And your testimony gives me so much confidence that we’ll see you soon!
Mom, I love you!
Have Character!
J. Noah Russell
