2
0
One of the most important messages of Have Character is to encourage anyone who visits this website to build a life legacy that has an impact on others around them. I believe it should start with your family and then branch out to everyone you come in contact with. Throughout the ages of human existence, many have come and gone… their legacies documented. Some are well-known for different reasons. Unfortunately, some legacies are more folklore than actual truth. The idea of building a legacy is not something new that’s for sure. However, the question is what legacy truly matters?
There are two Sailors who served in the Navy who built a legacy that has had an eternal impact on my life. They were more than just Sailors. This was my father and his father, my grandfather.
My grandfather was a no non-sense type of man. A rough man in many ways. He had a hard life. All his brothers died at an early age as did his parents, leaving him to raise his sister. He and my grandmother had 6 kids. My grandmother did not work. However, they raised their kids on just his income and made it work. My grandfather was a hard-working man, working in the factory. I only got to know my grandfather for a short period of time. He passed away when I was only 20 years old.
Although my time spent with my grandfather was not all that long, the legacy he left behind, has had an incredible, long-lasting, impact on me. You see my grandfather was very big on family. Family meant everything to him. Maybe it was because his own family growing up had been stolen from him at an early age, I am not sure, but his wife and children were absolutely everything. This also bled down to us grandkids as well. I remember well, my grandfather pushing my father and his two brothers to be close along with their sisters. One of my favorite things to do as a kid was to go over to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, knowing my grandparents along with my aunts and uncles would be there. My fondest, earliest, memories of my childhood were at their home. But the legacy he left behind was his relationship with my grandmother. She was everything to him! You could tell Grandma was always in good hands with Grandpa. It was his job, a job he handled with flying colors, to protect, cherish, and take care of her. Their love for each other was unmatched. My grandfather probably never even realized how important this was to a young me, but it was. It was impactful and memorable…an example that I was in absolute awe of, even then. And now, as I get older, I have grown to appreciate it more and more.
As my grandparents got older, they each had health problems for quite a few years. My grandfather dealt with cancer and my grandmother dealt with strokes and cancer. As their time on this earth started to wind down, they each spent frequent visits to the hospital staying for multiple days at a time. There is one thing I remember during this time that had a great effect on me. Hospital visiting hours meant nothing to either one of them… and it started with my grandfather’s example. If Grandma was in the hospital, Grandpa was NOT going home. He wasn’t leaving her side, period. No questions asked. There was no thought of “Should I go home or can I stay?” He was not being challenged by anyone, including hospital staff. He was grabbing a chair, asking for a cot, get him a pillow…the man was staying with his wife! The commitment to my grandmother was so strong and obvious that, even at 20 years old, I couldn’t help but take notice of it. It was powerful! The commitment one man had to his wife…to this person he dedicated his life to just couldn’t go unnoticed. They weren’t perfect. I had seen my grandparents argue many times throughout my young life since we were at their home so often, but you just knew that when they argued…neither one of them wanted to be arguing with anyone else on the planet! The rest of the family talked about this often. We all just knew that when one of them did pass away the other would be quickly behind and sure enough they died within a year of each other. Throughout the years, and to this very day, my family always talks about this passion they had for each other…and the passion my grandfather had for family. Again, this was a very rough guy, strong with pride, a man’s man, and yet his family, his wife, was everything!
My father was very much like his father and his father’s legacy had an impact on my dad. Like his dad, my father was all about family. He and my mother lived for my brother and I. They sacrificed everything to give us a great childhood growing up. My father worked in the same factory as his father…moving up the ranks past where his dad had been in management. This is not a knock on my grandfather at all, but instead a testament to the boy he raised, my dad. I believe my grandfather was very proud of my dad, his oldest boy…and I believe my dad lived to make his father proud of him. He looked up to his dad in a big way.
My father earned the word “dad” every moment of my existence up until he passed away when I was only 35 years old. Dad was the type of guy who was the breadwinner in the family, but drove the worst car, wore the worst shoes, and would give up the last piece of pizza in the fridge if his wife or one of his boys wanted it. He was last in his order of importance in his household. Like his father before him, he was a tough guy, strong with pride, and strict, but also very loving. We said “I love you” in my household growing up. I kissed my parents before going to bed in my childhood. We were a family. My father was at the helm with my mother by his side. They were a strong parenting unit with my father being the leader of the household and my mom being equally important. (Make no mistake, I had a strong, loving, mother too!). We got a heavy dose of discipline in our household, but never was it a loveless discipline. We were loved very much, even while being corrected. My father’s discipline kept me away from a lot of things like cigarettes (even though he was a lifelong smoker), alcohol, drugs, and any kind of real trouble. My brother and I didn’t act up in school. If we were to get in trouble in school, there was no punishment our school could dish out that would ever come close to the punishment we would face when we got home. My fear of my father was such a healthy fear. My fear of my dad as a child grew into tremendous love and respect for him as I became a man…because only then when I had my own family, did I realize the enormous responsibility and weight of the world he had on his shoulders to raise two boys to become men. To say my father was up to this task is an absolute understatement! There was no way he was going to fail or drop the ball in being our dad! That healthy fear was there, even on his deathbed. Most people hear the word “fear” and think it’s something bad. Oh no, the healthy fear I had for my father was such a testament to how strong of a leader he was in my life! His influence shaped his sons!
He loved my mother. He showed my brother and me how to treat a woman. We were not to ever lay our hands on a woman (and to this day I have upheld this and hold strongly to it). We were to hold a woman in the highest regard. My dad adored his mother as well. It showed when we went to see my grandparents. The example he set was never lost on me. If I ever wanted anything out of Dad, I only needed to go through Grandma to get it! Haha!
My father was a great, great man! His legacy has never been forgotten.
My mother’s family had its struggles. Her mother and father were divorced, each struggling with relationships throughout their lives. My mother attributes her love of family, her commitment to my dad, and their love for each other to my father’s parents. They were such an incredible example of what a committed marriage and love looked like. My dad died at the young age of 58, my mother still a young 57…and when my father was in the hospital dying of cancer there was my mother right by his side, visiting hours not mattering to her either, and staying with him day and night. When my father passed, my mother never looked to move on to another relationship even though she had every right to do so. My dad was the only man for her in this life!
I’d like to think that the legacy of my dad and my grandfather has been passed down to me. My mother is still with us…my brother and I look after her (another testament to my dad). My mother says I am a lot like my dad. Whenever I hear her say that I am just so proud to be associated with the man that God gave me the absolute privilege to call “Dad”. I have always felt that if I can be half the man my dad was then I have truly arrived in this world! One of the greatest things I will ever be grateful for is that I am his youngest son!
Building a legacy that matters is not all that easy. Sometimes it’s hard to put others in front of yourself. We all have wants, and fears to be comforted, needs to be met, and want love to be given to us by those who are important to us. We all want people to care for us too. We all want to see someone sacrifice for us sometimes to show us we are important to them. We are all human. But if we can all agree to fight for our legacy in serving others, it will make all the difference in the world. I promise you it will have eternal results. I trust that you will do well in building your legacy. Finally, I hope that what you have heard about my dad and his dad will inspire you! Go be great and be intentional in doing it!
My father and grandfather were both Navy men, but they were so much more than Sailors!
Have Character!
J. Noah Russell
HAVE CHARACTER™
