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“Father, hear my prayer…I need the perfect words…Words that he will hear…And know they’re straight from You…I don’t know what to say…I only know it hurts…To see my only friend slowly fade away…So maybe this time I’ll speak the words of life…with your fire in my eyes…But that old familiar fear is tearing at my words…What am I so afraid of?…Cause here I go again…talking ’bout the rain…and mulling over things that won’t live past today…and as I dance around the truth…Time is not his friend…this might be my last chance to tell him that you love him…But here I go again, Here I go again, Here I go again” -Song by Casting Crowns
This is going to be very tough for me. The words I will type here will be very hard for me to swallow. Sadly, as I try to live the life message of Have Character and cling to honesty, this blog might very well just be a cop-out. My stomach is getting sick as I start this. Quite frankly, I am ashamed of myself to have to even write this. Should I just stop now… can I really be this vulnerable all while flat-out dropping the ball in my life? The stakes are too high for me to be this weak! But I am! I am stronger than this, yet I am obviously not as strong as I portray to those around me. Lord, somehow step in and help me! The people I love need You and yet here I am hiding behind this computer. Father God, forgive me and give me strength to be better than this. Father, somehow give me opportunities and then convict my spirit so strongly that I must speak up. Let me love them enough to tell them about You. God, please take over this blog. Right now, I am writing to You, God, in anguish because I know what I have to say here and admit to here is such an indictment on everything I don’t want to be, yet I am. God, I can only ask that you save me from my feebleness and let these words somehow reach the ones I love.
Deep Breath…Here goes:
To my family, friends, and people I know I have prayed for you behind the scenes. Yet, I don’t pray for you enough. I have seen you throughout my life and internally I have thought about your salvation. How can I not think about it? It’s your eternity we’re talking about here! I have even prayed for your eternity, yet I have not talked to you about it. I have a personal, unique, relationship with the God who created everything! He is a perfect, righteous, and just God and at the same time a loving and forgiving God. He has carried me throughout my whole life, both in times of triumph and times of deep struggle. And yet, have I ever testified to you about Him? My God has saved me from eternal death, and yet I have not told you! He put your and my sins on the cross. Jesus took on the sins of the whole world…and here is the kicker…He took on the sins of every human being who has and ever will live on this earth. He did this so much so, that the Father had to turn away from him while He was on the cross! (Matthew 27:46, Mark 15:34) And yet, I am too weak to tell you! Through Jesus’ sacrifice, my eternity is secure and yet I selfishly keep that to myself.
I am now middle-aged. I have been through some tough stuff in life. I have had stressful moments, yet I have never needed anything to cope. I have never been drunk and I have never relied on a drug to get me through. I have a strong mind and a no-quit attitude. I am a man who believes I can take on any obstacle and overcome it. This whole time there has only been one reason for this and that is the God I serve…and yet I HAVE NEVER TOLD YOU!
I have never told you because I am not strong enough! I love you and yet I am too weak to tell you. The most important conversation you and I could ever have is about who Jesus Christ is. And just as important is the decision we make about Him…and yet, I am too scared to have this conversation with you!
So, I sit here at a distance behind the screen of this computer angry at myself, scared, and weak. But I have to try something. I can’t write these blogs on the importance of family, the importance of God, and the strength of character, and ignore the most important topic to ever talk about and that is Jesus Christ! The only One who can save you and me from eternal death. I can’t sit here promoting my “Have Character” life and not at least try to speak to the people I love most. So, I beg for your forgiveness that I am not strong enough to stand in front of you and witness to you the God who has saved me from Hell! The One who saved me the moment I cried out to Him. The One who is waiting to do the same for you if you will just reach out to Him. He wants a personal, unique relationship with you. I am telling you this relationship is the most rewarding, life-freeing, comforting, and closest relationship you will ever have! Man, when I think of the relationship I have with the true living God I serve, it puts me in absolute awe of Him! I so want this for you! It is the only relationship you can ever have where He is with you 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. AND it is a relationship with the One who breathed EVERYTHING into existence. Please… please… take a minute, digest this, and let it sink in.
So here is what I want to do in these last few paragraphs. For one, if I am not strong enough to love you face-to-face, please allow me to love you here! Secondly, please allow me to share with you just a simple idea I want to encourage you with. Thirdly, and by far the most important, let me get out of the way and let the living Word of God speak…TO YOU!
If you think I am crazy here about all this “God” talk, I understand. But I am not crazy. I am of clear and sober mind. Nothing is more important. The battle for our soul is very real. Satan has his grasp on your soul up until you cry out to God to save you. What I do know is the moment you cry out to God to save you, Satan MUST let go. He is not God’s rival. He submits to God’s power without even being able to put up a fight! So here is my loving challenge to you: If you have even a curiosity that I might be on to something or maybe you hope that I might be right or maybe you want me to be right because you do want there to be a God who wants to save you, then please do this. Go to a room where you are by yourself and have privacy. Get on your knees and bow your head or look to the ceiling. Don’t worry you are by yourself so no one is watching you. Then simply say this and mean it, “God, if you are truly real, I want to know you. If you do love me as much as I have heard, then I want to know you. God, I might not know all there is to know, but if you are real, I want a relationship with you. Please reveal yourself to me in a way that I can see so clearly. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen”
Now I am going to lovingly challenge you to go find a Bible and read these Scripture verses. They spell out from start to finish the predicament we are in as sinful human beings and the way to be saved through Jesus Christ:
Romans 3:10- As it is written: none is righteous, no, not one. (This means all of us and God can only have righteousness in his presence so we are in trouble.)
Romans 3:23- For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (This means all of us and falling short means we can’t be reconciled to God in our current condition.)
Romans 5:12- Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned (This means all of us because our sin delivers us to eternal death and this is our eternal destiny if we are left on our own.)
Romans 6:23- For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Wages of sin means a price needs to be paid for that wage, but here God sends us our life-line for the wage we simply cannot pay on our own which allows for reconciliation to Him and that is believing on Jesus Christ to save us.) (Keep reading as it becomes more clear.)
Romans 5:8 – but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Jesus Christ died to take our place to pay our “wage”, the price that needed to be paid for sin.)
Romans 10:9-10 – because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved (Calling on Jesus to save you and believing with your heart that He was raised from the dead secures your salvation in Him.)
Romans 10:13- For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved (The good news is revealed that ANYONE can be saved by calling on the name of the Lord.)
The Word of God makes it clear who Jesus is:
John 3:16-18 – For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.
Jesus said in John 14:6- “…I am the way, and the truth, and the life, No one comes to the Father except through me.”
Let me just tell you, if you have read this far and even given the above Scripture thought, Satan is shaking in anger and fear that you are on the cusp of Salvation. He might be losing his grip on your soul and there is not a thing he can do about it. And Heaven might be on the verge of a celebration for YOU.
To the people I love who don’t know God, let me leave you with this. I am so sorry that I am not strong enough to come to you individually and share this with you. I have no excuse and I am ashamed to admit how weak I am. But if you are stronger than me and you need a Bible to grow in a relationship with the God who loves and wants you, I would be overjoyed and more than happy to get a Bible in your hand. Shoot me an e-mail at [email protected] and let me know where you want it sent and I will make it happen! This offer is valid to you from now until I take my last breath on this earth.
I promise you, that if you take this step, the God of all creation waits for you. I can attest that there is nothing like a relationship with Him and for me as death approaches, I do not fear it. I am nervous about how I will leave this planet, but I am assured that once I crossover to physical death I will be in the presence of my Lord and Savior. I will be more alive than I ever was in the physical living. And there, all wickedness will be gone forever because Jesus Christ conquered sin and death for me. I just needed to confess and believe in my heart that He is Lord! I have done just that and I plead with you to take a step of faith. Call upon Jesus Christ to save you. I promise you, not only will you not regret it, but it will be, by far, the greatest decision you have ever made in your life…and your eternity will be secured in Him!
This message is to ANYONE who knows me personally. I love you! Please forgive me!
Have Character!
J. Noah Russell
2 responses to “I Am Not Strong Enough! Please Forgive Me!”
Amen! This brought tears to my eyes because I know exactly the relationship you experience with our Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ – it is the greatest blessing in my life to be able to share every little thing I fear, every thing I rejoice over, every ounce of thought with my Creator and know that he listens and cares and he hears me and answers me sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. I treasure my salvation, as I see you do also. The Word tells us that this is a GIFT from God. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8,9 I pray your friends and family will hear your heart here. Thank you for sharing this.
Hi Terry, thank you so much for reading my blog and more importantly to me is that you took the time to comment such an incredible message. It is truly encouraging to me and I am forever grateful to you for it. Writing this particular blog was very difficult, yet hearing from you with your response gives me so much strength. I pray too for your family and friends. It’s great to hear from a strong Christian voice like yours as well. Our world needs our Savior! Thank you again for being a blessing to me. I simply cannot thank you enough!
Have Character!
Amen! This brought tears to my eyes because I know exactly the relationship you experience with our Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ – it is the greatest blessing in my life to be able to share every little thing I fear, every thing I rejoice over, every ounce of thought with my Creator and know that he listens and cares and he hears me and answers me sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. I treasure my salvation, as I see you do also. The Word tells us that this is a GIFT from God. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8,9 I pray your friends and family will hear your heart here. Thank you for sharing this.
Hi Terry, thank you so much for reading my blog and more importantly to me is that you took the time to comment such an incredible message. It is truly encouraging to me and I am forever grateful to you for it. Writing this particular blog was very difficult, yet hearing from you with your response gives me so much strength. I pray too for your family and friends. It’s great to hear from a strong Christian voice like yours as well. Our world needs our Savior! Thank you again for being a blessing to me. I simply cannot thank you enough!
Have Character!